"Mother, tell me the story that I love to hear.
Tell me of heaven and why I came here.
Mother, tell how you love me, and gently speak,
And then I'll go to sleep.
Child, I am here.
Can you feel that heaven is near?
Sleep, sleep; a lovewatch I'll keep
To protect you through the night.
Mother, tell me of Jesus and how he is near.
Tell how he loves me, and I will not fear.
Mother, tell how his Spirit brings comfort and peace,
And then I'll go to sleep.
Child, he is there.
In his love you never need fear.
Sleep, sleep; a lovewatch he'll keep.
To protect you through the night."
(Mother, Tell Me the Story; LDS Children's Songbook, pg. 204-205)
We can learn a great deal about our divine role as women from this simple Primary song. We live in a world where women are so unsure of who they are and what their purpose is in life. The great deceiver has twisted the truth of our divine womanhood into so many ideas that today's women have become lost and confused. It is really quite simple and when we hear the truth of it, the Spirit warmly whispers to our hearts what is right and what is not. But we need to be listening.
What
is our divine role? We only need to go so far as to
"The Family, A Proclamation to the World" to find the answer:
"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."
We have a Heavenly Mother. She is so special. Our Heavenly Father loves her so dearly that we know next to nothing about her. This is to protect her from being cursed, demeaned, and degraded the way that He is and the way His Son is. This is our first lesson in how a righteous marriage should be.
Our second example of a righteous woman is our Mother Eve. "And Adam called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living." (Moses 4:26)
Sheri L. Dew stated:
"When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman's most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord's language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve "the mother of all living" - and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."
Sister Dew has never been married and has never borne any children of her own, but she knows who she is. She understands her divine heritage, even though her dreams of becoming a wife and mother in this life have not yet been realized for her.
She goes on to quote President Gordon B. Hinckley:
"God planted within women something divine."
She then continues:
"That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that 'men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls ... and the regenerating force in the lives of God's children.'
Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is 'as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.'" ("Are We Not All Mothers?", General Conference address, Oct. 2001.)
Just as there are many women who are still waiting for a righteous marriage and the chance to bear children, there are as many women who, although blessed with marriage, struggle with the heartbreaking trial of infertility. According to an
article in the April 2011 Ensign, "15 percent of couples in the United States have difficulty conceiving a child; ... In the context of the Church, where the family is celebrated as the fundamental unit of society, not having children can be an especially difficult challenge."
Julie B. Beck addresses this tender subject with love and compassion as she reminds our dear sisters who are still waiting for their turn to bear children with this counsel:
"Female roles did not begin on earth, and they do not end here. A woman who treasures motherhood on earth will treasure motherhood in the world to come, and 'where [her] treasure is, there will [her] heart be also' (Matt. 6:21).
In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life, but they know that 'all things must come to pass in their time' and that they 'are laying the foundation of a great work' (D&C 64:32-33). As they keep their covenants, they are investing in a grand, prestigious future because they know that 'they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever' (Abr. 3.26)." ("A 'Mother Heart'", General Conference address, April 2004.)
To you mothers of young children. You have long nights and long days. Your days are filled with cries, tantrums, and quarrels as your children learn to live with others. You tend to fevers, coughs, and runny noses. You clean up messes, over and over again. Some days all you want is to go to the bathroom by yourself or to talk to another adult. You are sleep deprived and wonder if you'll ever get the chance to wear anything other than sweat pants again. But, along with the difficult times of raising children, you also experience the good moments - their first step, giggles from tickles, and tender kisses on your cheek. You find joy in every milestone because you want your child to be happy, loved, and accepted by others. You teach them - to tie their shoes, to brush their teeth, and to comb their hair. You teach them to treat others as they would like to be treated. You teach them how to pray. You guide them, love them, and protect them. And at the end of the day, good or bad, you go to bed knowing you will do it all over again tomorrow. But you do it because it isn't about you anymore. It is about them and you do it willingly. Because that's what mothers do. I promise, it passes more quickly than you think it will. Find the joy in those moments and write them down because they will be a treasure to you when your children are older.
And then there are the mothers who have broken hearts because they have children who have chosen to take hard roads and they worry and cry many tears for them. My heart goes out to these women. It is not easy when our children choose to exercise their agency in a way that will cause them or others harm or great pain. Too often I have seen my dear sisters in this position blame themselves and say, "What could I have done differently? It must be all my fault that my children have chosen a dark and painful road in life. That is what mothers do. We take upon ourselves so much guilt that, many times, we do not deserve.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland offers this counsel to these women:
"Sometimes the decision of a child or a grandchild will break your heart. Sometimes expectations won’t immediately be met. Every mother and father worries about that. Even that beloved and wonderfully successful parent President Joseph F. Smith pled, “Oh! God, let me not lose my own.” That is every parent’s cry, and in it is something of every parent’s fear. But no one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying. You have every right to receive encouragement and to know in the end your children will call your name blessed, just like those generations of foremothers before you who hoped your same hopes and felt your same fears." ("Because She is a Mother", General Conference address, April 1997.)
To my dear sisters who are single parents due to the death of a spouse or divorce, these words of comfort are given by President Ezra Taft Benson:
"I ... recognize that some of our sisters are widowed or divorced. My heart is drawn to you who are in these circumstances. The Brethren pray for you, and we feel a great obligation to see that your needs are met. Trust in the Lord. Be assured He loves you and we love you.
If you are a single parent, make friends with others in similar situations and develop friendships with married couples. Counsel with your priesthood leaders. Let them know of your needs and wants. Single parenthood is understood by the Lord. He knows the special challenges that are yours. You are His daughters. He loves you and will bless and sustain you. This I know." ("To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church", General Conference address, Oct. 1988.)
And finally, a few words to the "mothers" who are caregivers to elderly parents or grandparents. I express my sincerest appreciation for you. Yours is a special calling. It requires patience, endurance, and charity. When I had young children I also had the privilege to be a caregiver for my husband's grandfather for the period of one year. It will forever be remembered as one of the hardest, but best years of my life. When you are a mother to young children, your task is to teach them to be independent. When you are "mother" to your parents, your task is that of helping them to hold on to as much independence as possible for as long as possible. In many cases, as an elderly caregiver, you are maintaining your own household as well as theirs. You are cleaning two houses, shopping for two houses, and paying the bills for two houses. You cook, clean, wash the clothes, go to the doctor's visits, regulate the medication, take phone calls in the middle of the night, and even help them to bathe. It is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. As one who has been through it, let me promise you - you will never regret one minute you spent serving them kindly. It is a great blessing to care for a parent/grandparent. You will never have a time in your life to know your parents better than you do when you care for them. The blessings are far reaching. When it gets hard and you are far spent, remember this: When the sacrifice is great, so great are the rewards. Our Heavenly Father is mindful of you and knows of your struggles and is blessing you with strength and fortitude, even when you don't realize it.
Being a mother can be so hard. Wanting to be a mother and not being able to can be hard also. But there can be so much joy found when we use our divine gifts as women to bless the lives of others, especially the elderly and children. We have the ability to love, nurture, and teach built into us. We are the keepers of the cradles and the backbone of the nations.
Regardless of our status - young mother, grandmother, childless, widowed, married, or never married - we can affect so many lives for good. Just as often as I see women who ache and want nothing more than to be mothers, I see children desperate to
be mothered. There will always be a great need for women to love children. Motherhood is really about them after all, isn't it? It is about the children, whether we personally give birth to them or not. Too often I see children who are abandoned or neglected by the women who gave them life. They yearn for the tenderness only a woman can give. They desperately need comfort, love, guidance, and encouragement. It is our duty as women, no matter our status, to bless the lives of these children, in addition to the lives of our own children. Let us rescue them and nurture them. Let us use our divine gifts to bless the lives of
all children. They need us. And as women, we
need to be needed. It's who we are.
We may not all be mothers, but... we are. Because we are women. We dry the eyes that cry and lift the hands that hang down. We comfort the sad and rescue the lost. We clean the wounds and kiss the "boo-boo's". We encourage the weak and give to those in need. We are teachers, doctors, cooks, maids, bookkeepers, taxi drivers, and therapists. We are nurturers. We love. Not because we are mothers, but because we are women.
To my sisters everywhere - to ALL women - Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for the good you do in your little corner of the world. I salute you.
