The Ripple Effect

Choices.

We all have to make them on a daily basis.  

Lots of them, actually.

What to eat; what to wear; to get out of bed or stay there; what to say; how to fix your hair.  

The choices are constant and required.

Some are made consciously and some not.

What some people don't understand is that we are each accountable for every single choice we make. There is no way around it.  If we are not held accountable in one way, we will be held accountable in another.  At some point we are all held accountable.  It is inescapable.  And it doesn't matter whether our choice is a good choice or a bad choice.  Righteous or wicked.  Right or wrong.  Black or white.  Selfish or Unselfish.  

Every single choice we make creates a ripple in the pond we live in.  Sometimes the ripples from our choices overlap the ripples from our other choices.  Sometimes they overlap ripples caused by other people's choices.  Very rarely do the ripples from a choice spread across the surface of our pond without touching another ripple.  

Recently the ripples all around me have been chaotic and busy.  There have been so many ripples.  It can be emotionally overwhelming when the ripples just keep coming and don't seem to have an end to them.  This isn't the first time my life has been full of ripples.  Sometimes it has been living with the ripples that I myself have caused that have rippled back upon me and other times it has been the ripples caused by others around me.

It always causes deep inner reflection for me when I see how a simple poor choice from many years ago can lead to a life full of heartache and sadness... not just for the person who made the choice, but for many people close to that person who are affected.  The affects can be far reaching and extensive.  The damage may be difficult or nearly impossible to repair.  

On the other hand, I have also seen how a simple choice for good can touch the lives of many in a positive and productive way.  Those ripples bring joy and comfort to those they touch.  Soon those ripples are met with anticipation and excitement for the good they bring.  They are like a light wave lapping up on a soft, sandy beach on a warm summer's day, offering refuge for hot, tired, and dusty bodies.  

It's sounds so simple, doesn't it?  

Make good choices and be happy.  

Make bad choices and have heartache.

Black and white.

Right?

Wrong.

It isn't always so simple until we look back and SEE the choice that started the ripple.  Some people never see that.  Only those who seek it will find it.  If we want to know how to stop the ripple, we have to go back to what caused it to begin with and rectify it.

Good choices bring joy, refuge from the storms, rest, comfort, peace.  Poor choices can bring heartache, sadness, confusion, maybe even the full fury of the storm itself.  The dilemma so many face is that they don't know or understand this.  They are lost and confused and just believe they can go about their lives living any way they choose, good or bad.  It doesn't matter.  The attitude is "Eat, drink, and be merry!  For tomorrow we die!".  In other words, I can do, say, or act any way I choose because the consequences will be tomorrow and maybe I won't ever have to suffer them.  If I pretend they don't exist, they don't exist.  

Wrong.

They DO exist.  And someone will pay those consequences.  It is a natural law.  Someone will have to either suffer (poor choices) or be rewarded (good choices).  That's just how it is.  If I brush my teeth, I may not get any cavities or have to lose them all later in life.  If I rob a bank, I will probably go to prison.  If I abuse my children, they will grow up to abuse their children.  If I lie, people won't trust me.  If I smile at someone, I may get a smile back.  It goes back to that simple law of nature called cause and effect.  I "do" so "this" happens.  That's how it works.

Now.  The question is...  Will I reflect on the choices I make today?  Will I think about the choices I have made in the past and work to stop the ripples I've caused from my poor choices?  Will I consciously choose to make better choices today so that my ripples bring happiness and joy to the people I touch?  It's a choice.  Who am I?  Who do I want to be?  I ponder on that.  One thing I do know - I will strive to make better choices and work to repair the damage caused by my poor ones.  I think this choice will make a good ripple.  

All Things Shall Work Together For Your Good

"Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good..." (Doctrine & Covenants 90:24).  

I have always believed this to be true and as I look back over the course of my life I see that it is.  This truth has been reiterated to me this last week or so.  I'm always amazed and overcome with gratitude for the tender mercies and blessings bestowed upon me by the Lord.  Sometimes I wonder how He can love me so much as to bless my life so abundantly.  My heart overflows with love for Him.

Let me explain what I mean.

As a young teenager of 14 years of age, I desired to know if the Book of Mormon was indeed another testament of Jesus Christ and if the writings within it were true.  I knew the only way for me to gain this testimony would be for me to read it and pray about it.   And so I did.  I was blessed with such a powerful witness I knew I could never deny the truthfulness of this book.  

Several years later I was dating a couple of boys and I needed to make a decision as to which one to marry.  I was young - only 18 years old, but I knew that if I were sincere in my desire, the Lord would bless me with an answer.  I made the decision as to the one I wanted to marry and then took my decision to Heavenly Father in prayer.  Again I was blessed with a powerful witness that the choice to marry my husband was indeed the correct choice.  I never doubted that choice and our marriage is still strong and we are united even after two decades together.

A few months after we were married, I felt a strong desire to move back to our hometown.  We prayed about it and again received that strong feeling that our decision was correct.  I talked to a friend the next day who offered me a temporary job working the front desk at H&R Block for the tax season.  It was part time and the pay was low, but it was enough for us to move home.  My husband's father drove down with his pickup and a small trailer the next weekend.  We put our bed, our couch, and our wedding gifts in the trailer.  We loaded up everything else we owned into my 1979 Ford Mustang and my husband's 1976 Chevy Luv pickup and went home.  We've been here ever since.  We've never regretted that move.  It has been a blessing to be here and to raise our children where we were raised and to be close to family.

My temporary job was coming to an end and my husband still hadn't found steady employment.  My father had kept him busy finishing concrete here and there while I worked at the tax place.  Our faith continued to be strong and we prayed for help in finding my husband more steady and permanent employment.  Two weeks before my job was to end, my husband found a job at the power plant a few miles out of town.  It only paid $6.00 per hour, but it was enough for us to pay our rent and the rest of our bills.  That was in 1993.

Just under two months after that, we were surprised to discover we were expecting our first baby.  We were very excited.  We felt that it was time to find a house.  We applied for a loan and hoped that it would be accepted.  It was denied because we were young and didn't have enough income or enough credit.  We were very sad, but we kept praying and kept looking and trying.  After our daughter was born, we applied again with the Farmer's Home Administration.  Now that our household had three instead of two we qualified for a loan with assistance for low-income home buyers.  Our house payment was $250 per month.  That house helped us to build our credit and gave us a good start.  We lived in that house for three years.

We really wanted to find a job that could give us health and dental insurance.  It was not going to be a possibility at my husband's current job.  So we prayed and left it in the hands of the Lord again.  We soon found out that a new facility was being built in our county.  We filled out an application and my husband's application was accepted.  He had to go through 7 weeks of training.  Generally, these jobs require new employees to complete their training in Tucson (a 5 hour drive from here), but since it was a brand new facility they decided to do one large training locally for all the new employees.  My husband didn't have to leave us for 7 weeks.  With a new baby, that was a blessing to us.  His job still has the best medical and dental insurance in our county.  It isn't the best of jobs, but it has been stable even through the fallout of our economy in recent years.  It also allowed me to stay home with our babies.  I NEVER had to send my kids to day care.  Not once.  His job has been a blessing in our lives.

Many prayers have been answered since.

Fast forward to recently.  My husband was required to change shifts at work.  Starting April 1st of this year, he was required to work the graveyard shift.  This also meant his days off were in the middle of week.  He couldn't go to church with us.  He has used up a large majority of his vacation time to take time off on the weekends as often as possible so he could attend church on Sunday.  We weren't sure how long his time on the graveyard shift would be, but we have prayed that he could go back to a day shift with weekends off again so that we can have the same days off work together and so that he could again attend church with us.   Also, since his vacation time is so low, it meant he wouldn't be able to take very many more Sundays off to go to church with us.    

Four weeks ago I was given a new calling (kind of like a job or service we give in our church, but we don't get paid and it is strictly voluntary; we believe our callings come through proper authority from God).  This new calling means I will be gone at least one Sunday per month and my kids would need to go to our ward (members of a congregation who live in the same vicinity) by themselves at least part of the time.  I hadn't really thought of it at all.  But then my husband found out unexpectedly that a new position on the day shift was coming open so he applied for it.  We found out last week that he did in fact get the position and started yesterday.  He didn't even have to wait the normal two weeks between positions because no one else even applied.  I started my new calling last Sunday (two days ago).  Just when I needed my husband to have weekends off, he has them.  My kids won't have to go to church alone.  It all happened quite suddenly and unexpectedly.  Indeed it was another answer to our prayers.

Some people would say this is all coincidence.  Fate.  Karma.  Destiny.  I don't believe in coincidence.  I believe in God the Father.  I believe in Jesus Christ who is God's only begotten son in the flesh.  I believe in the Holy Ghost.  I believe they are distinct and separate individuals.  I believe they are in control of this earth and every creature and person upon it.  I believe we are known to them by name and I have a personal relationship with each one, individually.  I know who I am.  I know where I came from.  And I know where I am going.  I don't have a shred of doubt about any of these things.  

We live in a world that is ever growing in scepticism and doubt concerning things of a divine nature.  People are searching high and low to find peace and direction in their lives.  There is much confusion and despair.  There is unrest and unease.  There is fear where faith used to be.  People are swayed by lies and deceit on every turn.  Satan knows how to infuse just enough truth into the lies that people don't know what to believe anymore.  It makes me sad.  

I will not ever deny the power of God in my life.  I will not ever deny that Jesus is the Christ.  I will not ever deny the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.  I believe that God still speaks to a prophet today.  I believe He answers our prayers.  I believe He has a plan for each of us.  He knows what we need and when we will need it.  I believe that when we are obedient to His commandments and seek after Him day and night, He will bless us.  We will see His hand in our lives when we exercise faith in Him.  But we have to WANT His hand in our lives if we are to have those blessings that are meant for us.  

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:  For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" (Matthew 7: 7-8).  

I believe this to be so.  If you don't believe me - try it.  Put God to the test and see for yourself.

In Case We Die...

So my hubs and I have a little getaway planned soon for our anniversary.  I've been looking forward to it for months now.  It's getting closer so the drills have begun...  I've actually been working on them for weeks now.

You know the ones...

The "In Case We Die" drills.

Does anyone else do this or is it just the borderline OCD me that does this?

You know...

I better clean the bathroom in case we die and someone has to come in and take care of our kids for us.  I don't want to be embarrassed by having a dirty bathroom after all!
I better wash all the laundry so the kids will have enough clothes to get them through a few days in case we die.
I better give the boys haircuts in case we die so they don't look like hippies at our funeral. (I was going to say orphans, but, well... you know... if that happened they really WOULD be orphans.  So I'll say hippies.)
I better make sure all the bills are paid so the kids will have electricity for another month in case we die.
I should write my will so that my kids aren't sent to foster care in case we die.  (I know.  Don't lecture me.  I know I should already have this.  I just don't want to deal with it, okay?)
I should balance my checkbook so that it won't be left undone in case we die.

You get the picture, right?
My list is even longer when it's just me leaving and my husband isn't going with me.
Because then I have to make sure everything is done for him so he won't have to worry about anything until after my funeral.

I know.  I know.
It sounds very morbid.
But I can't help it.
I like to be prepared.
I'm a mom and it's one of my job descriptions after all.

So tell me this...
Am I crazy and the only one who does this?
Or is it normal and lots of women do this?
Seriously.
I need to know.

Nourishment is the Secret

My little siesta has been good.  A break from blogging has been good for me.  I've been working on healing my body.  I was so sick for about two weeks and I'm finally beginning to feel almost back to normal.  It's been two weeks of rest, hydration, and healthier eating.  I started making smoothies for breakfast again as a way to pump my body with healthy vitamins and nutrients in an easily digestible form to give my body the boost it needed.  I noticed a difference on the first day and a considerable difference by the second day.  I've included fruits, vegetables, and yogurt so I could get as much bang for my buck as possible.  I didn't make one on Friday or Saturday and by Saturday night I could FEEL the difference.  I was sluggish and tired and found myself actually CRAVING my smoothie.  My body was screaming at me.  So last night I made tacos for my family for dinner and I made myself a smoothie to go with my ONE taco.  Yes, I only ate one.  I felt better within a very short time.  My family, on the other hand, wouldn't even consider tasting it.  It is made mostly of raw spinach after all and they think that's just gross.  I'm not going to force them to drink one with me, but maybe my example will rub off on them a smidge.  We'll see.

Along with working on healing my body, I've also continued to work on nourishing my spirit.  This has been an ongoing conscious effort over the past few months, but I especially took this time to read, study, and ponder good things - my scriptures, my Ensign magazine, a little C.S. Lewis... you get the picture.  I've focused on being more "present" for my family... listening more to the things that are said as well as to the things that are UNsaid.  Our level of quality time has improved and a greater measure of peace fills the walls of my home.  

I've been working on my relationships with my friends and others in my community.  I've tried harder to be kinder and friendlier to those who cross my path each day.  I try to smile more and focus on being happy and positive rather than negative and grumpy.  I've been especially working on forgiveness... focusing on the hurts and offenses from my past that I've held onto.  I'm trying to forgive and put those things behind me so that I can have stronger and healthier relationships with those people.  I've tried to be more obedient to the laws of God and to make more righteous choices.  My prayers are more sincere.  I'm more aware of the suffering of others and my compassion for them has increased.

So as I have taken this short break and focused on my physical health as well as my spiritual health, I've noticed a change in myself... one that I like.  I have more strength physically so my house is cleaner and my family is more likely to get a "real" dinner on the table at night.  As my spiritual strength improves, I find myself happier, more at peace with myself and the world and people around me.  I feel the Holy Ghost guiding and comforting me through my days.  I feel more gratitude for the little things as well as the big things.  I recognize more consciously than ever before the role of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in my life.  My perspective of eternity has grown and my fear is literally being replaced by my faith.  It's a good feeling.  I feel strong and whole.  The broken parts of me are being healed.  

But the main thing I am coming to understand is that in order to be healthy... truly healthy... we need to not only nourish and exercise our bodies, but our spirits and our minds as well.  If we nourish one part and neglect another, we are not healthy.  We are still sick.  When we focus on our physical body AND our spiritual soul we find peace, contentment, and true joy.  And that, my dear friends, is the secret to a happy life.

Free full resolution 8x10 download HERE.

Taking a Break

You know, I tend to be a very opinionated person.  I've learned to control my tongue as I've gotten older, but it takes discipline and restraint.  Sometimes I get over-excited and invested and don't do so well at keeping my opinion to myself.  I think blogging has helped me a great deal in this area though.  Maybe it's because I have an avenue for my vents and a release for those opinions to go.  But often times I regret some of the things I post on my blogs.  I think if I regret the things I post, I must post things I shouldn't post.  hmm.  So...

I don't know if it is because I've been sick this whole last week or if it is something else, but I just don't feel like blogging right now.  My last few posts have been very "forced" and I don't like that.  If the words don't come easily, I don't want to publish it.  I've struggled with writer's block for a couple of months now.  I don't know what it is. I just feel very disinterested lately.  So I think I might take a little break.  I probably won't post as often as I have in the past.  If I feel the urge to write, I'll write, but if I don't, I won't.   Maybe I'll see you soon...  or maybe not so soon...  we'll see.  I'll be checking in on your blogs though!  I'm not disappearing... just... pondering.

Charity Printable

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"President Thomas S. Monson teaches: 'Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.'¹³

'When we have charity, we are willing to serve and help others when it is inconvenient and with no thought of recognition or reciprocation. We don’t wait to be assigned to help, because it becomes our very nature. As we choose to be kind, caring, generous, patient, accepting, forgiving, inclusive, and selfless, we discover we are abounding in charity.'" - Syliva H. Allred

Today's Thoughts

My wedding anniversary is coming up in a few days.  It's an odd one - number 19.  It seems strange to me that I've been married for 19 years.  More than half of my life now.  I have to say it has been a wonderful ride, and if, given a chance to go back, I would do it the very same way.  I wouldn't change anything.  Honestly.  I'm not just saying it in a smoozie sort of way.  My life is what it is because I have chosen it to be so.  And I accept it as it is.  I am grateful for it.

In some ways these nineteen years have been long.  In other ways, it has be a short sprint to this point in time.  It is surreal almost.  As a wistful teenage girl, I hoped for a fairy tail life full of white picket fences, perfect holiday dinners, and exotic anniversary trips.  Not all of those things have been a part of my journey, but I have had a life full of happiness and joy.  I have also had my share of trials and heartaches.  I've been able to endure those hard times because I've had my best friend, my confidant, my husband - who is my strength, next to me the entire time.  We truly have grown into each other.  And I love him with a deep and abiding love that fills me to my core.  And I know he feels the same towards me.  We are unified in a way I never imagined possible.  Because we love each other unconditionally, we also love our children.  We aren't a perfect family, but we are happy.  I wish everyone could know this.  

My heart breaks so much when I see people I love struggle in their marriages.  My heart breaks for people I love who haven't had the chance to find their eternal partner yet.  I wish I could just fix all of the unhappiness I see.  I want everyone to know what I know.  But I can't MAKE someone understand.  I can't FIX every unhappy relationship, but I want to.  I WANT people to be happy.  I WANT people to love each other.  I WANT people to love their children and to see them the way Heavenly Father sees each of us.  I want pain, abuse, and neglect to stop.  I want homes to be havens from the evils of the world - to be safe places.  

I don't know where I am going with this.  I just can't stop thinking about all of the horrible things that go on behind closed doors in people's homes.  I read an article on my local news website about a girl, the daughter of a judge in Texas, who videotaped a "whipping" by her father when she was 16 years old in 2004.  The video has generated over a million hits on YouTube.  The news had the video in the article.  I pushed play and watched it for a couple of minutes.  I couldn't watch the whole seven minutes of the video.  It made me cry.  This poor girl was verbally and physically assaulted over and over again - all in the name of discipline.  It made me cringe.  It made me sick.  It made me angry.  It made me wish that every child in the world could be safe from the abuse and neglect inflicted upon them.  I know that there are children out there who are abused even far worse than the girl in this video.  It is so wrong.  And it breaks my heart into pieces when I think about it.  I wish I could save them all.  I wish I could make it stop.  But I can't.  And so, then, I wish the Savior would come.  He has the power to save them.  I am so grateful for the Atonement because I KNOW that HE will come again.  And when He does, Satan and all of his evil will be cast out for 1,000 years.  And no child will be abused in that time.  Every child will be safe because Jesus Christ will reign on this earth during that time.  It makes me wish the Second Coming could be today.  Because then, all of those people who hurt children will get what's coming to them.  That will be a good day if you ask me.

The Season of Thanksgiving

It's November.  The time when harvests are past.  The leaves have turned and are falling, leaving the trees barren and sleeping until spring.  The grass is littered with them, like sprinkles on a cupcake.  The days are short and crisp with the cool air.  The sun glistens like light on glitter as it pokes over the hills and shines upon the frozen dew covering the ground like a blanket each morning.  The sandals and shorts have been replaced with long pants and hooded sweatshirts.  It's not time for the heavy coats yet.  Soon, but not yet.  

It's also the time of Thanksgiving.  An American tradition.  A time to give thanks for all of our blessings and good fortunes.  A time for reflection.  

Gratitude.  

One word can mean so much.  This single word has the ability to change hearts.  Change attitudes.  Change people.  It can turn enemies into friends and heal offenses.  It can soften the heart of the hardest soul.  It can unify and strengthen relationships.  It has the ability to bind up our broken hearts and wounded souls.  So much power lies in those nine little letters.

But there is a secret attached to this word.  It is a magic word.  But only if used often.  Those who have discovered this secret have found the key to true happiness and joy.  Also - contentment, peace, acceptance, friendship, belonging, and healing.  

"Gratitude is a positive experience that comes from recognizing gifts or blessings and feeling thankful. It is also an attitude, a way of perceiving life, in which individuals are willing to receive and acknowledge the beneficial actions of others on their behalf. Those who consistently display such an attitude are said to have a grateful disposition. Gratitude is also a habit that can be cultivated, causing one to focus on the blessings of life. Finally, gratitude can be defined as a coping response to challenging or difficult circumstances." (Vaughn E. Worthen, PH.D.)

Not only is gratitude a positive experience, it can help us to BE positive.  When we are positive, we are happy.  When we are happy, we are in a position to succeed.  When we succeed with an attitude of gratitude, we naturally want to reach out and help others to also succeed.  It is infectious.  It benefits us as well as those around us.  That's why it is magic.  It has the power to transform the minds and hearts of every person on this earth.  If only humanity could truly understand this.  Our world would be a much different place to live.  Can you imagine?  What it would be like if everyone invested more time into being grateful... instead... of hateful?  

Today.  This afternoon, actually... I am grateful for modern medicine that helps me sleep and breathe, a soft couch to rest on, and a kind employer who let me stay home to get well - among so MANY more things that I am truly grateful for.