Wow! Is that a long title or what? But it has your attention, doesn't it? This is a rough time of year for us seasonally depressed people... if you haven't noticed by my somber and serious posts as of the last two months. For this reason, I decided I would lighten things up a bit and share one of my most embarrassing moments. Those are always good aren't they? I'm thinking of this today, because an old friend of mine from high school posted a photo of herself on Facebook this morning. She accidentally shaved off one of her eyebrows. Yes, the WHOLE thing. And she was totally laughing about it. It made me think... "Huh. I need to be able to do that better." So here goes.
Several years ago my husband and I went out to dinner with his three siblings, their spouses, and his dad and stepmother to celebrate three wedding anniversaries that are during the month of February. We went to eat at a nice steakhouse. It was the week of their grand opening. The place was packed. There was a live band setting up to play later in the evening. It was in a log cabin with two levels so they took us downstairs where a long banquet table awaited us as per our reservation.
The wait was getting quite long and we had been there quite a while. After an hour I needed to excuse myself and head upstairs to the little girl's room.
I have this awful phobia about public restrooms and germs so I always use those paper seat cover things they all have nowadays. This new restaurant didn't have any of those at this point so I just laid some tissue on the seat before I sat down. I did my business, washed my hands, checked my hair and makeup in the mirror and made my way back downstairs to our table, passing at least twenty or thirty people along my way.
I feel pretty self-conscious walking by big crowds of strangers like that. I hate feeling like people are looking at me. I'm not a fashionable dresser by any means and always feel like I'm on a runway where people are seeing what I'm wearing or how my hair looks. I know. It's a stupid fear. Most people never even notice other people walk by and if they do, I'm sure they aren't thinking those things. It's just one of my weird issues.
So. Back to the story.
I made my way back to the table and sat down next to my husband. I made it back just before our dinner was to be served. As I sat down, it felt like something was in a place it wasn't supposed to be. I felt back to where the waist of my pants was at. In that instant of pure horror and embarrassment I discovered that I had walked downstairs, past the band, past the hostess desk, past the kitchen, and past at least a couple dozen people... with a train of tissue hanging out the top of my pants and dangling down my backside like the tail of a kite. The tissue I had used to protect me from "public bathroom germs" was caught up with my pants as I stood up. I thought I would die.
I just wanted to crawl under that table and disappear. I hoped nobody saw, but I'm sure at least some of them did. I didn't even want to stay and eat my dinner. I just wanted run away as fast as I could. But I didn't. I couldn't leave the celebration just because I was embarrassed. So I choked it down and pretended as best as I could that it didn't really happen and that nobody saw my tail. Somehow I didn't die and I made it home safely. Now, anytime I use a public restroom I triple check in the mirror to make sure I don't walk out looking like a kite.
How about you? Anyone want to share an embarrassing story with me? I would love to hear it!