I Believe in Answered Prayers

I am a woman of faith.  I believe in God.  I believe in His only begotten son, Jesus Christ.  I believe in the Holy Ghost.  I believe in miracles.  I believe in angels.  I believe in the Atonement. 

I also believe there is Satan and he is here to tempt us and to throw us off our path.  I believe there is opposition in all things.  I believe this life is a test and opposition is required to determine if we will still choose God or if we won't.  A veil has been placed over our minds to forget our life in the premortal existence so that we can all be tested fairly without any past memories to give us an advantage, one over another.  We are here to find out what we are made of and to find out who's side we will choose to align ourselves with.  The side of good or the side of evil.  Jesus Christ or Lucifer.

I am reminded more often than I deserve just how precious this gift of knowledge can be.  In the past six months my life has changed dramatically in ways I never could have seen coming.  It has been full of trials and struggles, but I've been blessed immensely along the way.  I don't see a break in my responsibilities for another six weeks or so (in the short term), but I am holding on and pushing forward.  I have the strength to continue on because I have seen more of my personal pleadings with God answered in such profound ways that I can't help but to continue on.  

One instance happened this very morning:

I work at a manufacturing plant.  I am directly responsible for tracking production and inventory.  As part of my responsibilities I am required to reconcile our physical inventory of raw materials, finishing supplies, and finished goods on a monthly basis.  Last Friday was the day for my April inventory.  It was a hectic day and I was late getting started.  I had more phone calls than is normal for a Friday and it kept slowing me down.  I was scheduled to go with the high school Seniors from my community on an overnight hike as soon as I got off work so I knew I wouldn't be able to stay late at work to finish up.  My stress level was quite high and my ability to concentrate was waning.  With just an hour left before I needed to leave for the hike I was still only about 60% of the way to finishing up my inventory.  On one particular group of items I was missing a truckload and a half of my finished goods.  I could not find it anywhere.  I went over all of my paperwork for the month again and again and still could not find it.  I called in our plant supervisor to ask him if he could help me since he is the one who takes the actual physical counts.  He couldn't see where the problem would be either.  I fretted the entire hour until I had no other choice but to leave the office with my inventory only partially completed.  It would just have to wait until Monday (today).  I was mentally exhausted when I left and worried that it would affect my ability to visit and have a good time with the two dozen youth who attended the hike.  So I prayed for help that I would have the energy I needed as well as to not worry about my problems at the office.  

I did.  I was able to hike the three miles up a mountain to our camp and hardly struggled at all, even though I haven't exercised regularly in a while.  The kids had a great time and I enjoyed spending time with them.  I didn't worry about my inventory again until this morning.  I prayed that I would be able to find the problem as I said my morning prayer at the side of my bed.  I again prayed just before I opened up my spreadsheet that He would help me find the mistake.  

And that is where my small miracle took place.  When I opened up my spreadsheet my eyes were immediately directed to an item on the screen.  There was my mistake.  Instead of typing in a 53, I had typed a 23.  That accounted for my truckload and a half of missing material.  I had scoured that spreadsheet at least a half dozen times on Friday and could not see the mistake, but today it was the first thing I saw.  My prayer had been answered.  Maybe someone else wouldn't call that a miracle, but I'm not just someone.  To me?  That. was. a. miracle.  Small?  Yes.  But a miracle nonetheless.  I needed that tender mercy in my life.  My burdens have been so heavy the last six months and something like this can sometimes be just the straw to break the camel's back.  So yes, it was a miracle for me.  Heavenly Father knew I needed this weight to be lifted and He lifted it for me.  

I have had many prayers answered in just as similar a manner as this since my responsibilities have increased as well as throughout my life.  My mind always goes to this scripture and I find myself open to understand it because I have witnessed this very thing:

"... I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."  1 Nephi 3:7

It always makes me wonder how anyone could ever believe there is no God!  It baffles me.  Because that is all I CAN see.  He is everywhere.  My faith is great.  I know that must be why I can see it.  And the greater my faith is the more I see the answers to my prayers - even the seemingly insignificant ones.  It causes my heart to burn with love and gratitude for my Father and for his Son, my Savior.  My debt to them both just grows larger each day because every time I try to repay that debt through service or obedience to the commandments my blessings increase and I find more and more things to be grateful for.  Every time I don't know where to go or how I am going accomplish some hard thing in my life I turn to the Source that can help me with every trial I face.  My doubts continually lessen and my knowledge grows more sure each and every day.  This life truly is a time to prepare to meet God.  That will be a glorious time and I anxiously await that day!  

Leadership Requires Courage

Several months ago I read a speech given by Gordon B. Hinckley entitled, "The Loneliness of Leadership" given in 1969. The words echoed my own thoughts and feelings so I printed a copy off and put it in my binder.  I haven't been in a leadership roll such as the one I am in currently for a very long time.  There are seasons of life for everything under heaven and this must be the time for me to take my place in the leadership roll, but that doesn't lighten the load or ease the burden at all to know this.

I find my weaknesses and shortcomings to be glaringly obvious as I continue on this path and it can be quite disconcerting for me.  It seems that the harder I try to overcome these inadequacies the more I find of them and it becomes a snowball effect, spiraling me down into a sea of insecurity.  I grip at the boulders as I fall, catching one ever so often, but it seems the slide continues downward.  Occasionally all goes well and I find myself on a ledge with the courage to make my way back up the mountain and that gives me hope that all will be well, but the weight of the world continually feels heavy upon my mind.

My greatest fear is defeat.  All I want is to do a good job and do what is right.  At the end of my journey I just want to hear the words, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."  And so, even as difficult as it is some days, I put my feet on the floor and move forward.  The days I want to give up I remind myself to keep going.  I have the Lord at my side and He will help me, guide me, and comfort me in my efforts.  He always has in the past and I know He will continue.

I will not allow my fear to control me.  I will let my faith give me the courage to move forward.  I will not be defeated.  I will be strong.  I won't give up.  

I don't mind being a leader.  I know that I am capable.  It is the accountability of the decisions made that weigh heavy upon me, but I also know that if I make those decisions with the help of trusted counselors in an effort to do what is best for those we lead, all will be well.  To be shoved out of one's comfort zone is never a pleasant experience and I am well without those limits, but as time goes by my comfort zone slowly creeps closer to me once again.  I've come to realize that as my comfort zone comes closer it isn't because my circle is moving closer to me, it is because my circle is becoming larger and will eventually take me back in and encompass me.  I just wish I could stay inside the zone a little longer before I get shoved back out again.  But then how would I grow?  How would my circle of experience and knowledge grow?  It wouldn't and I would be stuck inside a shrinking circle.  I just need to remember that the next time I get overwhelmed.  

So the next time I find myself panicking and afraid due to my leadership position I will take a deep breath, take a moment to regroup, and push forward.  I won't give up and I won't give in.  I will try not to grumble or complain, but instead to be grateful for the chance to grow and learn.  I will remind myself that it always works out in the end because it always does.  

I-Pod Inspection Tutorial - Parental Controls

Many kids today have I-Pods and many of them are the Touch version that have access to the internet.  So many parents want to protect their kids, but aren't sure how to go about inspecting the gadgets their kids have for explicit material.  I inspect my kids' electronic gadgets from time to time.  I always say, "It's time for a surprise I-Pod (or other device) inspection.  Hand it over.  Now, please."  They know that is one of the terms to have such gadgets or else they will lose them for good.

I've come to realize there are many parents who don't know how to check what their kids are doing online so I am going to walk you through it for an I-Pod Touch and will possibly add follow-up tutorials on other devices later.  I am going to give this tutorial as if to a parent who knows nothing about I-Pods.

1.  Know the Password
If your kids have their I-Pod password protected have them tell you what the password is.  Don't let them type it in for you.  As a parent, you should know what their passwords are at all times.  In our home, the consequence for mom or dad not knowing their password is to lose their I-Pod (or other device) for a time period of a day to a few days or many days, depending on how many times it has happened.  Let the consequence fit the offense.

And for reference - my kids are 18, 16, and 13 years old.  I go through each of these steps with all of them.  Age is insignificant to me and should be to all parents who want to protect their kids.  Also, this applies to children of all ages who use the internet, very young on up to older teenager.

2.  Browse the Apps
Check all of the Apps. Apps, short for applications, are the "programs" installed on the I-Pod.  Look at all of the icons on the screen (small pictures) and if any of them stick out to you as inappropriate, click on them and see what the program is.  While on the main screen, you can use your finger and slide it across the screen from side to side and it will show more screens of icons for Apps.  It is like flipping to a new slide on a slide projector, but with your finger.

3.  Deleting Apps
If you find any questionable Apps, you will want to delete them.

To delete them:
** Place your finger on the App to be deleted and hold it on the App until all of the icons start "shaking".
** You can then take your finger off the screen.
** A small 'x' will appear in the top corner of each App.
** Touch the 'x'.  A window will pop open that will ask if you want to delete the App.
** Select 'Delete' and it will be deleted.
** Push the round button at the bottom of the I-Pod below the screen to get the icons to stop shaking and for the 'x' to disappear.

It also gives you the option to 'Cancel' in case you accidentally choose the wrong one.  There are some Apps that come with the I-Pod that you can't delete, but you can hide those - like 'YouTube' - See 6. Setting Parental Controls below.

4.  Check Internet History
This will show you the pages they have viewed on the internet in the past few days.

** Select the icon at the bottom of the screen called 'Safari'.
** At the bottom of the page you will see some symbols: <, >, a box with an arrow in it, an open book, and two boxes together.  Select the Open Book symbol.
** Select 'History'.
** Select one of the days.  It will take you to another page that will have a whole list with the open book symbol next to each one.  Drag your finger upwards on the screen to scroll down the page to see every page visited.  If you select one of the pages, it will load that page and you will see exactly what your child saw.
** Select 'History' inside a left arrow at the top left-hand corner of the screen to take you back to the main history page.
** Check each date listed until you have checked all the history pages you can.
** To exit 'Safari', push the round button at the bottom of the I-Pod and it will exit you out to the main screen.

If you find that your child has visited pornographic or other explicit websites you may want to take 'Safari' off their main page and make it inaccessible.  Again, go to 6. Setting Parental Controls below.

5.  Check YouTube History
This will let you see what videos your child has been watching on YouTube.

** Select the icon on the main screen called 'YouTube' with a picture of a TV set.
** Select 'History'.  This will show you all of the videos your child has watched.
** Select 'More' in the left arrow at the top left-hand corner of the screen to take you back.
** 'Most Recent' are the most recent videos posted to YouTube by all subscribers.  'Top Rated' are the top rated videos as rated by other YouTube subscribers.  It's a good idea to look at those too because then you can see what your child will see if they choose either of those selections.  You may be shocked at the content you find in these two selections.
** Push the round button below the screen on the I-Pod to exit to the main screen and out of YouTube.

6.  Setting Parental Controls

** Find the icon titled 'Settings' and select.
** Scroll down with your finger until you find 'General' and select that.
** Select 'Restrictions'.
** Select 'Enable Restrictions' and it will ask you to set a passcode.
** Enter a 4 digit passcode that your child will not be able to guess.
** Re-enter the passcode.  Now you can set the controls you would like to set.

Then you will have these options highlighted along with a few others.
** 'Allow':
     - 'Safari': On means the internet is accessible.  Slide the button to Off and 'Safari' will be removed from the main screen.
     - 'YouTube': On will make YouTube accessible.  Off will remove the icon from the main screen.
     - Go through each item and choose On or Off according to your preference for your child.
** 'Allowed Content':
     - Make sure 'Ratings For' is set for the country in which you live.
     - 'Music & Podcasts': Select and you can choose to have 'Explicit' turned On or Off.  ON is for explicit and OFF is for clean.  Select 'Restrictions' at the top left-hand corner of the screen to go back.
     - 'Movies', 'TV Shows', and 'Apps' can be set to allow by ratings: G, PG, R, ect.
** 'Game Center':  Multiplayer games mean your child can play games with other people online.  Adding Friends means they can add other people to their list of people to play multiplayer games with online.

TIP:  Teach them how to be safe on the internet when they are young and first starting to use it and have surprise device inspections right from the beginning.  Then when they are teenagers, they already know what the house rules and standards are and won't question you when you question what they are doing on the internet.  Set clear guidelines and have clear consequences.  Teach them WHY you have restrictions for use of the internet.  Let them know there are restrictions to protect them, not to punish them.  They will understand if you teach them in a loving way as a concerned parent and they will listen.  If you didn't start when they were small, start now.  It's never too late to teach your children how to be safe.

It is so important to protect the minds of our children.  After all... today's children are tomorrow's future.  Let us protect them because one day they will be the ones protecting us.

Root For The Underdog

I rode the bus to school and back when I was a little girl.  There were three boys, cousins, who would tease me relentlessly, day after day after day.  They were mean.  It had been going on since Kindergarten.  Finally, after having a long hard day at school, on the bus ride home, they started in again - pulling my hair, teasing me, calling me names.  I couldn't take it anymore and snapped.  I took my Holly Hobbie metal lunch box, turned around in my seat, and whacked one those boys right in the head with it.  It was loud.  I hit him pretty hard.

Not my lunch box, but this is what it looked like.

They never bothered me again on the bus after that.  That was in 2nd grade.  I was shaking when I sat back down because I couldn't believe I had actually done it.  That was one time I didn't even feel bad for what I had done, even though I knew I shouldn't have hit him.  I knew hitting others was wrong.  

We grew up together and graduated from high school together.  After that experience, they knew I would stand up for myself so they didn't physically bully me anymore, but the name calling continued all through our years of school together, even until we graduated high school.  

Those three boys were not the only ones to bully me throughout school so I personally know what it is like to be bullied and ostracized.  When I was in 7th grade another boy intentionally took a basketball and through it right in my face as hard as he could.  I had some bruises, but I survived.  I have several other experiences.  These were not the only ones, but they are enough to convey my point.  

I never let those bullies break me though.  I knew who I was.  I had been taught by my parents, grandparents, and teachers in church that I was special; that I was a daughter of God and that made me a princess.  I knew that He loved me and I knew my family loved me.  I remained true to myself throughout all of those difficult growing up years and never gave in to the peer pressure to have sex or to go "party".  I remained true to the values and standards that I was taught would protect me.  And remaining true to those values and standards did protect me... in many, many ways.

One thing that helped me was something I had been told, somewhere, by someone.  I don't remember who or when I heard it, but I took it to heart.  I began to look at the bullies from their perspective.  I would watch them and came to realize that many of those mean kids had great sadnesses and heartaches in their lives.  They had things going on in their personal lives that were so hard, but many of them didn't have a support network of people who loved them and supported them at home.  Some of them were just mean because they were spoiled rotten and their parents let them do or have anything they wanted.  Some of them were just mean for no apparent reason, but this group was very small.  I realized most of the bullies were really just reaching out for help.  Many of them had so much anger, sadness, or hurt built up inside them that they were like a bomb ready to go off with any kind of spark.  I learned to have compassion and sympathy for them.  I learned not to judge people by their actions because I never know what may be causing their behavior.

One night I was at a country outdoor street dance a few months after our high school graduation and one of the three boys came up to me and told me that he was sorry for all the years he had been mean to me.  (He wasn't the one I hit with the lunch box.)  He told me that he wished he wouldn't have and that he didn't mean all of the things he said.  He told me that in reality he had respected me all of those years for not giving in to the peer pressure and for being a "good" girl.  He wished he would have had the courage to stand up for what was right and not give in to the peer pressure himself.  It meant a lot to me and in that instant I fully forgave him for everything he had ever done to me.  He was sincere in his apology and I knew it.  To this day I have a deep respect for him and his courage to apologize to me.  When I see him now we smile and and say hello and ask each other how our families are. I'm not bogged down by anger, resentment, or revenge towards him.  That one act actually freed me from so much of the pain I suffered at the hands of all the bullies in my life.  When he apologized I almost felt like he was apologizing for all of them.  It helped me to forgive them all.  I owe him a debt of gratitude for that.  

I see kids (and adults) who are bullied and ostracized everywhere I go.  I can pick them out in a crowd.  I know what they look like.  I know them because I was them.  I hone into those kids without even realizing it.  I seem to gravitate to them and when I get to them I end up putting my arms around them and telling them how special they are.  I ask them to tell me about themselves, to tell me about their interests and hobbies.  I want to know because I want them to know that they are important... that they are special too.  My heart breaks for these kids because I know what it feels like and I turn into a protector when I find them.  Maybe that's why I never root for the winning team.  I always root for the underdog.  Always.  

Waiting on Our Road to Damascus

I believe in Jesus Christ.  He is our Savior.  We are all children of a loving God and that makes us all brothers and sisters.  I believe in life after death.  I believe in mercy and justice.  I believe in forever families.

I believe.  Do you?


If you are searching and would like to know more, please visit Mormon.org or you can email me HERE and I will answer any questions you might have about what it is we believe.

Transition

I feel so restless.  I don't like that feeling.  It encompasses my world and distracts me.  I feel like it makes me vulnerable.  When I feel vulnerable I feel weak.  I have enough years on me now that I recognize this phase as I tend to cycle through the new phases again and again and again.  You would think it would make it easier, but it really doesn't.  It almost makes it worse because I know how hard it is.

My daughter is feeling the same restlessness.  It is the restlessness that comes with a life transition.  We had a good long talk last night about this as I tried to calm her fears and let her know that the way she feels is normal. It means her life is about to change and she is about to learn a new life lesson.  I explained that it isn't easy for anyone, no matter how old any of us are.  It is always hard and it doesn't happen only once.  It happens many times throughout this mortal journey.

She is my oldest so that means her life transition also becomes my life transition.  As she readies herself to be an independent adult I begin to ready myself for the beginning of my life with adult children.  What makes it even harder is that we have to go through it together, but her transition is different than mine.  

I had no idea how hard this was for my mother.  Now I understand why she cried when I left.  I didn't understand it then, but I do now.  I cry almost every day and I can't even help it.  If someone asks me what is wrong I can't say why.  I feel almost as if I am mourning a loss and my soul aches.  Why does it have to be this way?  Why does life's changes have to be so hard?

What makes it worse is that I feel as if I wear my emotions on my sleeve.  I feel very transparent.  Blogging about it all probably doesn't help though does it?  :)  I would keep it all to myself, but this always seems to make me feel better.  It's my way of reaching out to the world to find others who are also experiencing these same things as I.  But it is a two-edged sword and sometimes I wished I hadn't posted some of the things I did.  I am who I am though.  I am transparent in many ways.  It is my personality and I have never been one to keep my thoughts to myself.  Sometimes I try as hard as I may to NOT speak, but I just can't ever do it.  The poor people who have to work with me, live with me, go to church with me.  I'm sure that many times they would love to tell me to stick a sock in it.  Sometimes I wish one of them would.  It might help me to not speak up so much.  {sigh}

I'm afraid I will be this vulnerable, sappy, whiny, teary-eyed woman for a while.  Maybe I'll be better in six months after my daughter is at school and I know that she can make it on her own and is safe while far away from home.  When I know she is settled and her apprehensions have eased I know that mine will also.  It just seems to be coming so fast now and I wasn't expecting it yet.  Somehow I thought it would take a long time before I got to this point in the road.  Ironic how time is deceitful that way, isn't it?

The Peace of Easter

Dusk is upon the day.

The air is still.

Only the bellow of a mama calf beckoning her calf to feed.

A bird willows a chirp.

A horse neighs.

All is quiet.

All is still.

The world rests.

Or mine does at least.

My soul is calmed.

My heart is full.

Tis the day to celebrate the resurrection of the Savior of mankind.

Such a beautiful day.

I weep deep within for the pain my sins have caused.

I wish I could say I had never committed them.

But alas I cannot.

I blame the natural man in me.

I can repent.

The Lord shall not have suffered in vain for my sins.

I will overcome.

My hope is bright.

His atoning sacrifice is real.

Of that I am sure.

For I know Him.

And He knows me.

Peace be Still Printable

                                            4x6                                                                                             5x7

Peace, Be Still.

There were several of them, traversing the sea from one bank to the other.  The journey ensued and a great storm arose.  Wind battered the small ship - to and fro, to and fro.  The waves beat against the vessel until it seemed as if it would sink and all aboard should perish.  The Master slept in the hinder part of the ship as the crew feared for their lives.  Awoken, they inquired of him, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?"

"And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still.  And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." (Mark 4: 38-39)

I've been facing many a great storms in my life as of late.  I have felt as the Apostles felt - afraid that I might sink.  It has taken all my strength to stay above the waves.  Discouragement and fear have been my companions.  I find myself praying often, "Master, carest thou not that I perish?"  

I have felt relative to Peter whom the Lord warned to be on his guard:

"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat;"

But the Lord reminded Peter that He would never abandon him:

"But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not; and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." (Luke 22: 31-32)

Previously, I have proclaimed to replace our fear with faith!  I have had to draw on my reserves to do that.  Life always has another storm around the bend, waiting for us, doesn't it?  Honestly, I am not afraid of the storms anymore.  My faith is sufficient to see me through, but the storms are still hard.  

I feel like there is so much wisdom in verse 32 of Luke 22.  Jesus tells us (1) that He is mindful of each of us and petitions on our behalf to our Father in Heaven; (2) always have faith; and (3) when your faith is sufficient, share your light with others and help to lift them so their faith might also be strengthened.  I feel this constant back and forth.  It makes sense to me now.  When my faith is weak, I work on myself.  When my faith is strong enough, I can then help others.  Life is full of ups and downs.  In order to exercise our faith continually it becomes necessary for us to stretch those spiritual muscles a little farther.  Our Heavenly Father loves us enough to give us hard things so that we can stretch those muscles and become stronger.  But just as with stretching the physical muscles in my body, stretching my spiritual muscles might cause me some discomfort or even a little pain.  

My spiritual muscles are being stretched right now.  When I am in the midst of my storms I always turn to the scriptures and to my Heavenly Father in prayer to help me find a way out.  It has become my second nature and is my first instinct because I KNOW that is where my comfort lies.  As I search, ponder, and pray for guidance and strength my discouragement and fear seem to lessen.  I can understand why Satan would deceive the children of God into believing there is no need to pray.  He doesn't want us to feel peace.  He hates us and wants us to be miserable like he is.  He wants us to separate ourselves from God so that our faith doesn't grow and so that we don't feel those healing balms that come from heaven.  I am grateful for the knowledge I have of a loving Heavenly Father and a loving Savior.  I know I am a child of God and I know that He knows me by name and loves me.  And that is enough to help me endure any storms that come my way.